She, Yes She… is a small island in the middle of the Bering Sea, out hmm half way ish down the Aleutian Chain.
It has been said you can take the girl out of Dutch but you can’t take the Dutch out of the girl… or is it those of us who think of Dutch Harbor as “home”? Maybe not the only home but “home” in some albeit functionally dysfunctional way.
I’ve been thinking about writing a post since New Years Day… and well life keeps on keeping on. Maybe I am learning some of the grace for myself that I spoke of in my previous post… or maybe I am realizing as so many others I talk to that ADHD is a real thing and I have just been highly functional for most of my life.
Anyway, stay on point Ruthie… What was the point..? Maybe I should start with what I’ve been up to for the last two months. Well, if you’ve been to Dutch or have family in the industry, then you know… what we do is WORK. And well, I feel like I’m working like I did in my 20’s. Before big titles and responsibilities. Before frustration turned to anger and anger to stress and anxiety. Which I allowed to happen and hold no one else responsible. I am the author of my story… and God when I lean in and listen. (A topic for another day!)
We are what we do… or are we? Is it that we just let what we do become who we are? (Maybe another topic for another day.) And again back on track Ruthie. The main reason I came back to Dutch… or Home was to teach yoga… Even as I write that, I am shaking my head… Ruthie-Yoga-Dutch? And wow what a ride (journey… as an enlightened person might say). And yet another topic for another day!
When my friend and well as Cuba Gooding says to Tom Cruise in Jerry McGuire… my ambassador of quan! Alyssa. I quit my job she invites me to join her in India for Yoga School… Alyssa I can’t touch my toes! Yet India is where my friend became my sister. I tell her I want to learn to teach… She says come home! I bought a ticket and had a little faith all would come together and got on a plane!
Teaching Yoga has been one of the most challenging humbling things I have ever done… except that one time my good friend Pam and I tried to sell high end sunscreen by low end hotels in Florida… thanks Panama Jack! Extremely humbling! And again back on track… Ruthie!
Yoga… breathing… finding your groove… your way… your words… realizing the fact that your mom had to write L and R on your shoes til about 4th grade… could affect the way you teach! Or at least develop your style…It is pretty hard to take yourself too seriously when you have one foot in the air… giving cues on the next move… you have to look down at your hands L is Left R is the one you write with… then think about which foot is on the ground! And the teacher becomes the one laughing in class.
Then there have been real moments of awareness of presence… feel the tension in our bodies… and let it go… feel that fact that we are not breathing and breathe… feel the love you have for the amazing people who came to take your class. Be grateful and grow.
It has most certainly become a journey… one of finding my way… one of letting go of expectations…one of realizing if one person is supported and even if that one person is me on some days… well, that’s enough. The support and love I have felt in the room for myself, for each other. Even those who never thought it was for them..! Hmm that was me! Coming to realize it all starts with a little movement, a connected breath, and presence of mind. Coming to realize that teaching is for me.. and I am truly looking forward to class on Thursday
There is so much more to this chapter.. it might have several parts!
Next time, I’ll tell you about my adventures coming full circle as a server at the Norwegian Rat – slinging lunch plates and counting pull-tabs by day instead of pouring late-night drinks like I did in my twenties. Talk about life coming full circle with a twist! There’s something weirdly perfect about trading in my 3am bar shifts for the lunch crowd, watching fishermen debate the weather forecast over their burgers instead of arguing about one more drink.. Dutch Harbor has a way of bringing you back to yourself – just with better hours and (slightly) less chaos this time around.
Peace and Love
Ruthie
